Thursday, February 3

Figuring out life!

Man is always caught in contradictions – trying to survive crisis when he is already pre-destined to face situations beyond his control. Razzaq bows out to relieve and pain his kith and kin.

So feeble we are that even a dint of doubt can distort our belief and the slightest stroke can impair us for the rest of our lives. The Almighty created us as his chosen beings on earth. Everything is meant for him and he is supposed to remain supreme in every aspect of his life. The question is: Is he strongest of all? No! More often, he is the weakest being.
My cousin Razzaq Ali – a real gem of a person and with not even a single negative bone in his body – breathed his last on January 25 after remaining in coma for almost ten days. Fell down from motorbike and broke his neck while coming back home from work on January 16 is the succinct description of the last ride alive back to home. “It is better if he dies instead of leading a perpetually troublesome and painful life, not only for his family rather for himself too,” said one of the physicians Dr. Anwar Chaudhary while Razzaq was in coma and put on ventilators. It was feared that, even if he would have survived, he would have bed-ridden for the rest his life.
“Any chances of his survival and walking on his feet,” I enquirred from Dr. Rizwan Masood Butt.
“No chances!” he said blankly.
“No chances!” I repeated.
“Chaudhary Sahib! Miracles do not happen in this age,” he uttered to make me mum.
Was it a ‘routine’ incident? No way! Razzaq was a young chap and supposed to be getting married on January 30. His house was decorated in a usual rustic way as being done in villages of my country. But destiny and nature had different plans for him, and they both proved to be stronger. This is life, men! You cannot be stronger than the “written words”. Preparations for his marriage were in the final stages, but he was given a hugely attended farewell (read funeral) to penultimate abode.
His was the first Janaza, I did not shoulder and he was the first dead for whom I did not pray. I thought it was not my duty to shoulder his cart to grave because being twelve years younger to me, he should have been there to shoulder my body to grave. Why should I do that? Probably, my shoulders would have given way owing to the fact that these have gone weak for such tragedies.
I did not pray for his salvation because I believed that he was a thorough gentleman with not even a single negative bone in his body. During our relationship spanning over ten years, I never heard him uttering either harsh words or using abusive language. I always found him smiling except for once when his mother Irshad (my real phuphee) left this world for her heavenly abode about eight months back.
Whenever, I went to see them, Razzaq was always there to accompany me and take me around to various houses of our relatives and to fields. I always visited the shrine of Nau Gazia in his company, for whom he had a lot respect and reverence. Probably, even the Nau Gazia could not keep his obedient and humble servant alive. I think I will be without any one’s company for my future visits to the village.
Razzaq’s hospitalisation and ultimate departure from this world kept me living in a vacuum for many days. I do not know for how long it will remain like this. At the same time, my mind is constantly questioning the existence of man, death of the innocent sooner than the lesser evils and reverse rule of father burying his son.
What is our existence? Mere a bubble, which can get ruptured at any moment in life! Seem to be so! The innocent die sooner than the lesser evils – so why not be bit evil or have some negative bones in your body if one is really interested in living or do the vice versa.
Natural versus the unnatural – It is not that painful when a son is burying his father, but probably the tragedy is when an old father buries his son. I don’t have any words of consolation for my Mamoon Amin because he is neither among the living nor the dead.
People say, “it is life”. If it is life, then death must be peaceful.

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